I seriously have such a short temper. I find myself always getting so frustrated and people and things so quickly that I often say and do things that I later regret. I assume maybe this comes along with my anxious feelings — but I can never be the type of person to be screwed over and “take a deep breath”. Perhaps this is my greatest weakness.
To spare you the details, I made plans with a friend tonight, who cancelled 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave, and left me hanging the whole night. This may not seem like such a big deal but if I were to get into it it would make more sense. Anyways, I found myself getting so angry, and at some points I got so frustrated that I began to cry and curse off my friend.
However, after sitting this over all night, I have realized that it is doing me absolutely NO GOOD to hold a grudge and be so angry at anyone — all it does is frustrate me more and get me more anxious and angry. Instead, I’m taking this opportunity to look at things in a more positive and forgiving light.
Perhaps this wasn’t completely my friend’s fault. Maybe there was a miscommunication and she tried really hard to make our plans happen. Perhaps she too feels so bad and guilty about bailing on me, and she is letting it ruin her entire night.
Being angry at someone and ignoring them only adds fuel to the fire – even though no words are being exchanged, the silence is deafening and only adds to the tension which just blows this whole issue out of proportion. Instead, if we forgive and move on, we are making room for better things in our life and a chance to create new and happy memories, instead of holding on to the anger that is much easier to do.
I know, I should really take my own advice. It truly is SO much easier to say than do. I’ve been ignoring my friend all night, and she finally sent me a text with a conservative “Hey”. I’ve been thinking what I should say to her, if I should say anything at all. But I have to practice what I preach. I have to move on. As angry as I am, I’m sure she feels just as bad.
That’s the thing. Love truly stems from love. If you give someone love and forgiveness, they are all the more likely to give you that same love and respect you gave them. However, if you only give them anger and yell at them for what they’ve done wrong, they get defensive and angry at the words you are choosing. Love comes from love, and hate comes from hate.
With that being said, here are my twists for the day:
Long tiring day at work; on my feet all day!
Standing burns more calories than sitting!! Plus I did well today at work and got to catch up with some work friends I hadn’t seen in a while. It was actually kind of fun.
Didn’t get to the gym today…
BUT I managed my food to budget for this and did well today! Plus I was walking and standing at work so I must have burned some calories. More motivation for tomorrow’s workout!
Friend cancelled plans on me…I got mad…She got mad…
I have realized the importance of forgiveness and how love will come from love. Being angry is only making this worse. Plus, I was able to have dinner with my cousin and my grandma, so it gave me a chance to spend time with them AND try a new restaurant!
Went to the diner to get dessert with my mom but I didn’t order anything because I wanted to stay on track (but boy did I want a piece of chocolate cake!)
Eh, I wasn’t that hungry anyway. I feel way better that I resisted the chocolate urge and stayed on track especially because I didn’t work out today. That chocolate cake will taste way better when I deserve it!!
Alright, I’m off to bed (who am I kidding I’ll be up watching Orange is the New Black). Remember that forgiving is super hard but it is always the right thing — nothing is worth giving off hate. What goes around comes around.
With a Smile, Always.