Love comes from love…and hate from hate

I seriously have such a short temper. I find myself always getting so frustrated and people and things so quickly that I often say and do things that I later regret. I assume maybe this comes along with my anxious feelings — but I can never be the type of person to be screwed over and “take a deep breath”. Perhaps this is my greatest weakness.

To spare you the details, I made plans with a friend tonight, who cancelled 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave, and left me hanging the whole night. This may not seem like such a big deal but if I were to get into it it would make more sense. Anyways, I found myself getting so angry, and at some points I got so frustrated that I began to cry and curse off my friend.

However, after sitting this over all night, I have realized that it is doing me absolutely NO GOOD to hold a grudge and be so angry at anyone — all it does is frustrate me more and get me more anxious and angry. Instead, I’m taking this opportunity to look at things in a more positive and forgiving light.

Perhaps this wasn’t completely my friend’s fault. Maybe there was a miscommunication and she tried really hard to make our plans happen. Perhaps she too feels so bad and guilty about bailing on me, and she is letting it ruin her entire night.

Being angry at someone and ignoring them only adds fuel to the fire – even though no words are being exchanged, the silence is deafening and only adds to the tension which just blows this whole issue out of proportion. Instead, if we forgive and move on, we are making room for better things in our life and a chance to create new and happy memories, instead of holding on to the anger that is much easier to do.

I know, I should really take my own advice. It truly is SO much easier to say than do. I’ve been ignoring my friend all night, and she finally sent me a text with a conservative “Hey”. I’ve been thinking what I should say to her, if I should say anything at all. But I have to practice what I preach. I have to move on. As angry as I am, I’m sure she feels just as bad.

That’s the thing. Love truly stems from love. If you give someone love and forgiveness, they are all the more likely to give you that same love and respect you gave them. However, if you only give them anger and yell at them for what they’ve done wrong, they get defensive and angry at the words you are choosing. Love comes from love, and hate comes from hate.

With that being said, here are my twists for the day:

Bad Things:

Long tiring day at work; on my feet all day!
Standing burns more calories than sitting!! Plus I did well today at work and got to catch up with some work friends I hadn’t seen in a while. It was actually kind of fun.

Didn’t get to the gym today…
BUT I managed my food to budget for this and did well today! Plus I was walking and standing at work so I must have burned some calories. More motivation for tomorrow’s workout!

Friend cancelled plans on me…I got mad…She got mad…
I have realized the importance of forgiveness and how love will come from love. Being angry is only making this worse. Plus, I was able to have dinner with my cousin and my grandma, so it gave me a chance to spend time with them AND try a new restaurant!

Went to the diner to get dessert with my mom but I didn’t order anything because I wanted to stay on track (but boy did I want a piece of chocolate cake!)
Eh, I wasn’t that hungry anyway. I feel way better that I resisted the chocolate urge and stayed on track especially because I didn’t work out today. That chocolate cake will taste way better when I deserve it!!

Alright, I’m off to bed (who am I kidding I’ll be up watching Orange is the New Black). Remember that forgiving is super hard but it is always the right thing — nothing is worth giving off hate. What goes around comes around.

 

With a Smile, Always.

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I need to stop being a night owl

Once again, a late night filled with cousin book shopping bonding and overtime hockey (the rangers lost BOO). Sorry if my typing is weird too, I’m typing on my phone for the first time so hopefully I sound somewhat educated.

Today was a fun day as I took a group of 4 11 year olds to see The Fault In Our Stars. It was very funny to hear all of the latest fifth grade drama that I certainly did not miss! Nonetheless, it was a good time to bond with my little cousin and see her in her element.

Watching the hockey game was — actually, I wont go there, I’m still grieving.

I’ll make this post quick seeing as it is almost 2 in the morning and I have to get to work at 11 tomorrow.

Here are my twists:

Bad Things:

Listening to screaming and yelling loud 11 year olds for hours.
It reminded me of how I used to be with my friends and made me both appreciate those days AND appreciate maturing LOL

The movie once again depressed me by making me wonder how my life would be if my loved ones were deceased.
This made me appreciate my loved ones so much more and reminds me how precious and wonderful life is.

THE RANGERS LOST!! 😦
Honestly, they put up a hell of a fight. It really made me appreciate all that these athletes are capable of and how strong they are. And honestly, it’s just a game. There’s always next time.

Thats all for today!! I’ll leave off with a question for anyone reading: can anyone recommend and fantastic books??

Goodnight!!

With a Smile, Always.

A Little Late…

Yikes, I forgot to do a post last night with a summary of my day and my daily “twists” of turning bad parts of my day into good ones. I blame Orange is the New Black — my boyfriend came over and we were watching for literally 7 hours. It is so addicting and if you haven’t tried watching it you really should, it’s fantastic.

Anyways, I had another fantastic day. I lounged around for a good part of the day, and then went to my orientation for volunteering. I mentioned in my previous post that I was feeling anxious/nervous/worried about it because I didn’t know what I would be walking into, but it was super relaxed — all I did was sign some sheets, listen to some information about the company, and take my ID picture. Once again, as usual, I worried for nothing. I really need to start relaxing. If anyone has any tips that they use to relax them and calm them down please share!!

After my orientation, I cheated and went to my cousin’s house and had some pasta. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t call it “cheating” since I had such a small bowl and I barely ate all day — I’m allowed to splurge every now and then! It was a lovely evening with my cousins and my grandma as we just sat around and talked for a while. When I got home, my boyfriend came over and we binge watched Netflix (Orange is the New Black) until 1 in the morning. It was a fantastic day.

And, as promised, here are my twists:

Bad Things:

Worried and anxious about volunteer position
What the heck was I worried for? Either way, my worrying helped me to better appreciate how easy and relaxed the orientation was. Furthermore, it helped me to remind myself that I need to stop worrying so much — everything in the end turns out okay.

Feeling down that I didn’t work out and had a bowl of pasta
I’m allowed to take a day off! I’ve worked so hard. Plus, I budgeted my food intake knowing I wasn’t going to work out, so I compensated. Anyways, it was nice to relax and take the day off.

That’s all for now! I’m off to the gym and then to run some errands. Later I’m taking my little cousins to see a movie with some of their friends (I’m so cool right??). I’ll leave off with one of my favorite quotes:

“There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind” – C.S. Lewis

Fear of the Unknown

YAY! 24 hours with a blog…I feel accomplished 😉

Today has been slow so far, mostly I’ve just been sitting around. I didn’t get to the gym this morning, didn’t even get a jog in because I was feeling so lazy. I’ll be going to an orientation for a clinic I’ll be volunteering at in a little while, so perhaps after that I’ll feel motivated and go out for a nightly run.

I’m on such a roller-coaster (regarding motivation that is). Some mornings I wake up eager to start the day with hundreds of ideas and thoughts flooding my mind about what to fill the hours of the day with. Other mornings, like this morning, I feel extremely lazy and it takes a while for me to even go fix my own breakfast. I’m not sure why I keep going up and down and what I can do to keep my motivation going throughout the day. Thoughts?

Nonetheless, I still have my upbeat attitude. I may feel lazy and unmotivated, but that only works to help me appreciate, recognize, and strive for those moments when I feel completely inspired and stimulated.

I should say, however, I feel anxiety about my new volunteer position. Starting new things has never been exactly exciting for me, especially when it is in an unfamiliar professional situation where I do not know what to expect. I guess that’s the stem of my anxiety about everything — fear of the unknown. I never know what I will be walking into when I start something new, and I never know what tomorrow will hold (whether good or bad). Nothing is ever certain, and that often scares me (a lot). When I start feeling this way, like I do right now, I try to tell myself that it is okay and natural for us to fear the unknown, but we must trust in God (or any other higher power you believe in) that everything will conspire for our benefit. Once again, I want to quote Aaron Kennard here from his book because he truly says it best:

“If God’s aim is our glory, growth, and all good things, then to me, to espouse the belief that some things are for our benefit, and others are there with the purpose of harming us, would be putting God in contradiction with Himself. I frankly think it’s a ridiculous notion and I don’t buy it.” – Aaron Kennard

 

You’ve done it again, Aaron. He perfectly explains why we have to have faith in God and every situation he puts us in that we will be okay. Better yet, we will be great. To believe he has done something that will not ever be in our favor is to go against what God is all about and why we love him.

To close off this post, on a less religious-y note, I want to remind everyone to always think positively and it is SO unbelievably helpful to turn these negative thoughts and situations into positive ones, so every aspect in your life will be a happy one. Don’t let your mind me overcome and overrun by negative thoughts. Everything always works out in the end.

With a Smile, Always.

 

P.S. Does anyone have anything they want to hear about in my blogs? I want to start taking suggestions!

(Great)night

It’s been a whopping 12 hours since I started my blog. I went from not concerning myself with having readers to all of a sudden wanting some. Well, we’ll see how it goes I guess. I stated in a previous post, I had a FANTASTIC day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but after finishing Aaron’s book last night, I found myself finding the good in everything, instead of the negative. My thoughts were (almost) completely positive.

I went to the gym for a while today — and they always say that working out gets your endorphins going, but that is an understatement. NOTHING can put me in a good mood like a solid workout. I’m starting to see some changes in my body (toning up and cutting down on fat) slowly but surely. This also makes me happy. However, when approached by a trainer at the gym, he asked if he could give me some tips for a better workout as he saw me consistently doing cardio (I’m bad at being a gym buff so if anyone has any tips let me know!). I was at first a little embarrassed and hesitant as I didn’t want to be doing hard exercises that I couldn’t do in front of the whole gym. It was time to put my new thinking to the test. Instead of backing out and making up an excuse, I accepted his offer and we set up an appointment together. While it would have been easier to shoo him away and see this experience as embarrassing, I chose to see it as a new opportunity to better my workout and hopefully better my results (and for free I must add).

Other than that, I cooked a delicious dinner with my mother — chicken and vegetables in soy sauce over brown and wild rice. I watched the hockey game with my boyfriend (RANGERS WON!!!!) which is always fun, and now I can look forward to a game 5 on Friday. Tomorrow I will head to the gym again, and then I will be going to an orientation at a clinic I will be volunteering at for the summer. After my previous internship flopped (I will get to this another time), I was feeling really down about what I was going to do the rest of the summer and feeling my resume would be lackluster. However, thanks to a super nice neighbor across the street who works at the clinic, she offered me an opportunity to volunteer which I am super hopeful about.

To close out this post, I am going to start doing something I hope to do every night from now on — highlight the worst parts of my day, and twist them to become good things, positive things.

BAD THINGS(?):

Stepped on the scale today and did not even lose a pound after dieting and exercising everyday for 2 weeks.
Exercising and eating better has me feeling better, which is even more important than losing weight. I know the weightloss will come if I remain stress free and stop worrying about what the number on the scale reads. After all, I am happy with myself and who I am so who cares if I don’t have a lower number on the scale yet??

I am consistently having anxiety and worrying about death (I’ll get into this in another post, I’m sure it’ll be lengthy).
Recognizing that everything can be much worse makes me appreciate what I have even more and appreciate the time I am able to spend with my loved ones now and not later.

Can’t eat a big bowl of pasta like I used to for dinner.
Being fit feels better than any bowl of pasta tastes!! Wait, did I just say that………ANYWAY, I can still enjoy pasta whenever I want, just in moderation. Actually, I haven’t even been having a hankering for it now that I’ve started to eat better!

That’s all for tonight folks (folks??? LOL)! Thank you WordPress for allowing me to explore this whole blogging thing. I definitely am a fan. I hope I can get some readers eventually.

I’ll close with one last thought for everyone: When is the last time you had a good solid loud straight-from-the-belly laugh? Remember it and smile 🙂

 

With a Smile, Always.

 

“Once you repla…

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results” – Willie Nelson

Today was AWESOME. Nothing out of the ordinary, I didn’t win the lottery, I didn’t do much – BUT, thanks to Aaron Kennard and his book (I can’t advertise it enough and no I am not being paid), I have seen only the good in everything today. Because of this, my day was infinitely better than it would have been without focusing on the good. Thanks again, dude.

To Whoever is Reading

Alright, so this is my first stab at this whole blogging thing. At this point, I have exactly 0 people “following” me, reading my posts, or even visiting this blog. Right now, I have created this blog for me and only me, to scribe my thoughts and ideas. So, for the sake of entertainment for myself (cricket cricket), I’ll give a short blurb about myself.

I don’t want to disclose my name and age (yet), maybe if some people actually read this I will. But I will say I am ac college student at Boston University. I just finished my first year at BU, studying health-science/public health and I was on the pre-med track, but I am now just focusing on public health and epidemiology (I’m sure I’ll talk more about this later). I live at home with my mom and my dog. On a more personal note, this past semester at BU was extremely challenging for me as I overloaded on very difficult courses and dealt with a lot of stress and a lack of time. Ever since this semester, which proved to be the biggest roller coaster of my life, I have been dealing with mental breakdowns and fits of depression and anxiety. This change I have seen in myself is very concerning, and I am doing everything I can do be happy everyday. Hence the reason for this blog.

Just last night, at approximately 5 a.m., I finished one of the most inspiring and eye-opening books I have ever read in my almost 2 decades of existence. It is called The Positive Thinking Secret: How to Forget the Past, Smile at the Future, & Laugh in the Face of Pain by Aaron Kennard. It’s an amazing book about how to change your life and “never have a bad day again” all by just changing the way we see and interpret life. Even through some of the most trying situations and circumstances, the author never failed to think positively and thus is consistently happy even when others could never be. I finished this book in just 3 days – I simply could not put it down. Even this morning, I woke up with a whole different take on life. I need to talk to this Aaron Kennard dude — I have so many questions left to ask and this book just left me wanting more.

Anyways, I am starting this blog to help me jot down my thoughts and ideas, and get everything out. More importantly, I am hoping that I can work to transform all my thoughts into positive ones, and by writing down my thoughts I will be able to clear my mind and get to a happier place in my life just like Aaron. I’m hoping to be inspired by quotes, stories, or just everyday activities and share them on this blog. I’m not sure how much I will blog (or should), so I guess I’ll just see how it goes.

To finish off this pilot post, I will end with the my favorite quote from this book, and the theme behind this blog:

“If we chose to think ‘Why me, why is this so hard? Why don’t things work out for me?’ Then we are choosing to stop the flow of goodness, abundance, love, and peace into our life and are holding ourselves apart from a truly amazing life. Those thoughts are like paddling upstream. Just stop fighting the current and let yourself flow” – Aaron Kennard

So there you have it. Here’s to flowing with the current and taking whatever life throws at me and welcoming it with open arms and a smile.

With a Smile, Always.

 

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